"When I was asked to write something, I accepted with pleasure, as since stabilising on a script and knocking street drugs on the head, my head has cleared up and the loves and craves of drugs have been replaced with educational things and I also enjoy writing.

Last time I was in prison, I decided that things had to change, and I applied for funding for a suitable rehab. It was based on cognitive behaviour change, and we were taught how to get back in touch with our feelings and emotions, as I closed down emotionally as a child due to my home life. It was a 20 week programme and it was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I’m grateful as I’m still noticing changes today, and its been around 2 years since I graduated.

I moved to a dry house, and tried to apply a total abstinence to my life by the 12 step programme. I was doing well for the first 2 months when my anxiety raised its ugly head and not long after I relapsed. So I headed back to Birmingham for help, as with my past experience Birmingham is the best city I’ve ever been for help on various things (e.g. hostels etc.). I moved into a hostel and went to the doctor and quite quickly I got to see a drug worker and my doctor. My G.P. knows some of my old prescribing G.P.’s, which helped to move things on, and then I had to see a drug worker named April from Drug Solutions.

I was willing to accept help and work hard, as I felt that basically I would not survive another round on the Street Scene – I was scared and anxious but motivated. Anxiety was the first hurdle – April got me loads of written sheets about anxiety and how to overcome it. I read it all, although talking about how I was feeling helped too. My weekly appointments with April were a Godsend, and she had plenty of patience, ideas and was very professional. I feel I have to state this because I’ve had drug workers in the past but none as helpful and dedicated.

We worked hard to get housing, but it was difficult because I had a debt from 10 years ago that interfered with everything. The hostel I was living in had a dealer two doors away, who gave credit crack and smack. I couldn’t stay clean and believe me I wanted to. It got me down, affected my moods and I walked out. April suggested that I tried a day programme called Zephyr and I started. On my first day there, I phoned one of the better hostels in Birmingham and got a room straight away. Brilliant!! They were strict there about drugs, it did go on but not in your face as much. When the offers of heroin came my way, I started to say ‘NO’ and felt good about it.

The day programme at Zephyr was excellent as it gave structure – we had drugs groups like relapse prevention, triggers, etc.. We learned about computers, art and had alternative therapies for relaxation – acupuncture, etc. However the main thing was that it built up your self worth and confidence – enough so that I have applied to go to college to do ‘An Introduction To Counselling – Drugs And Substance Awareness’ parts 1 and 2, and finally a computer course. It has been suggested to me by professional people that I have a rare insight into addiction behaviours and feelings, I have a calming nature (voice) too which together would make a good drugs counsellor.

As I said, many professional people have said this and it took a while for me to believe it and then have the confidence for going to college to gain certification. All the way through this writing, I haven’t mentioned that the maintenance prescription of Methadone has given me the stability to do all what I’ve done and help me cope, so that I can now say that I am heroin free and rarely crave. Just the fact of me forgetting to mention Methadone says to me how normal things are!!

I now live in a small shared house run by Christian people, and I also declare that I have been attending Church for the past 4 months and praying. I have now got the peace of mind I have always searched for, and life is good. Thanks to the help I have received and the work I have put in, dedication and motivation are the key.

I am going to end here and I hope what I’ve wrote is O.K., helps where needed and said what was intended.

Thanks very much.

P.S. nearly forgot that today I also have hobbies and the main one fishing, which is also good for peace of mind and anxiety and had a fair few good catches. My next goal is to get a photo in ‘The Midlands Angler Newspaper’."